Interpreting Christmas Song Lyrics

  It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it. I apologize for how little I’ve written this week, but I promise I have been writing other things. Hopefully you will see them on a bookshelf or in a toilet stall in the near future! Are there any Christmas carol lyrics that you never thought […]

How To: Insult

Hey, you scurvy knicker-bockers. I am slightly disheartened at how few responses I have been getting for my insult contest. Some people have told me that it is hard to insult me without feeling guilty. Thank you. But that is the opposite of an insult, so you are disqualified. I have formulated a few little […]

A Contest

People have been so kind to me this week. I sincerely, truly, deeply, whole-heartedly appreciate your support. I joke around a lot, but I’m serious when I say that even little things like your ‘likes’ on Facebook keep me motivated. I can’t even talk about the comments and texts. Or I will cry. Happy tears, […]

It’s Okay To Hide

It’s Okay To Hide Under … Or at least, I think so. What do you hide under? (Also acceptable: forts, forts made out of blankets, forts made out of pasta, wine, mustaches, tattoos, bad haircuts, a gypsy lifestyle, lots of animals, one really big animal,stuffed animals, trees, poetry, plane tickets, fake tans, musicals, popular televisions […]

Very Relevant Post

  I hope everyone had a sugary safe Halloween! The Best Costume I saw had a tutu. The Worst Costume I saw was Christian Grey. The Most Popular Costume was hands down Where’s Waldo. My friend donned a striped shirt, hat, and glasses and people were hugging him, yelling at him from their cars, “I […]

Who I Am

Overshare Alert, but I have been going through so many changes lately. I don’t even mean my voice — I’m pretty sure that’s just about over. Any second now. My beautiful friend gave me some incredible advice when I was upset about heart-hurting earlier this week. She said, “Don’t hung up on what you are not. […]

How To: Self Portrait

Here’s the scene: It’s dark, mostly because it’s nighttime. Also because I live in a basement. Sirens howl from a few streets over and I can hear our dog pacing back and forth in the yard above. I’ve been sitting for what feels like the whole day. My chair is squeaky, my desk is a […]

Anatomy of a Birthday Card

In the era of fancy birthday parties, back when goody bags were a must and you had to invited all the girls in your class, my parents were really kind about buying presents. When I think about how many birthday presents they bought for brats that I only liked for about five minutes in 3rd […]