Sporknotes: Y2K

The following is nine year old Christina giving a minute to minute play-by-play of the turn of the century, when the world was supposed to end. This little gem from “Still December 31, 1999” is written on a giant piece of butterfly-shaped paper with pink lines. Apparently, it took me almost two hours to fill […]

How To: Terrible Metaphors

Sometimes, you are in anguish. It could be that you saw a picture of your ex with another girl on Facebook, or that your fantasy football team has managed to win 110% of its games. Maybe your dog decided he hates you, maybe you just found out your entire family is planning on seeing Les […]

Interpreting Christmas Song Lyrics

  It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it. I apologize for how little I’ve written this week, but I promise I have been writing other things. Hopefully you will see them on a bookshelf or in a toilet stall in the near future! Are there any Christmas carol lyrics that you never thought […]

Insulting Resulting

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is December 8th and I have a word document open that has all of the insults you guys have thrown (typed) at me during the last week. I’m proud to announce the three winners: 3rd place goes to Tiffany Seaman, who actually made me want to throw up and laugh […]

Sporknotes: The Insult

First of all, I don’t get to say this often, but thank you so much to those of you who have been insulting me this past week. It’s been a true joy logging into Facebook, getting excited about notifications, and then finding out that they are all about me being a vegan twig that never […]

How To: Insult

Hey, you scurvy knicker-bockers. I am slightly disheartened at how few responses I have been getting for my insult contest. Some people have told me that it is hard to insult me without feeling guilty. Thank you. But that is the opposite of an insult, so you are disqualified. I have formulated a few little […]

Ghosting

So, my esteemed writing colleague and I were having a rather hilarious conversation earlier about … death. Obviously. Everything you’ve heard about writers is true. We are awful. And we talk about death and we will drink all of your free coffee.* *This blogger takes no responsibility for what could be an outright lie. All […]

Facebook Policy Change

There has been an awful lot of confusion about the new Facebook policy changes, and I want to set the record straight. I’ve seen quite a few statuses claiming copyright of a Facebook page, bladdy bladdy blah. Here is a real statement that I really posted on my Facebook for protection. Feel free to share, […]