My dad is a doctor. He is my hero. He saves lives and listens to people’s problems, and for some reason every piece-of-crap magazine thinks that his home address is his office, so they send issue after STAR MELTDOWN issue, month after month. These are all good things. I would never ever spend real money […]
WARNING: The following review contains SPOILERS and was written by someone whose only authority comes from four years of high school theatre. All questions, comments, and concerns can be directed to Hugh Jackmen. He’s my secretary, and he loves talking on the phone. Sacré blur, where do I begin? First of all, even though I […]
I am very very proud of this. I wrote the lyrics and got to eat a burrito during the shoot. It’s a dream come true. Who is your favorite character in Les Mis?
One of my better Microsoft Word creations, if I do say so myself. This test is 100% accurate. And, unfortunately, 45% too small. You may have to click on it to get your results. I would be sorry, but I’m too full of cookies.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is December 8th and I have a word document open that has all of the insults you guys have thrown (typed) at me during the last week. I’m proud to announce the three winners: 3rd place goes to Tiffany Seaman, who actually made me want to throw up and laugh […]
Hey, you scurvy knicker-bockers. I am slightly disheartened at how few responses I have been getting for my insult contest. Some people have told me that it is hard to insult me without feeling guilty. Thank you. But that is the opposite of an insult, so you are disqualified. I have formulated a few little […]
People have been so kind to me this week. I sincerely, truly, deeply, whole-heartedly appreciate your support. I joke around a lot, but I’m serious when I say that even little things like your ‘likes’ on Facebook keep me motivated. I can’t even talk about the comments and texts. Or I will cry. Happy tears, […]
So, my esteemed writing colleague and I were having a rather hilarious conversation earlier about … death. Obviously. Everything you’ve heard about writers is true. We are awful. And we talk about death and we will drink all of your free coffee.* *This blogger takes no responsibility for what could be an outright lie. All […]
I have an announcement to make! I, Christina Marie Wolfgram III have been published. By an online art magazine that isn’t even run by my mom! My excitement is immeasurable, and I can imagine that I must look pretty rabid since the girl who was sitting next to me in the library put down all […]