How To: Terrible Metaphors

Sometimes, you are in anguish. It could be that you saw a picture of your ex with another girl on Facebook, or that your fantasy football team has managed to win 110% of its games. Maybe your dog decided he hates you, maybe you just found out your entire family is planning on seeing Les […]

A Contest

People have been so kind to me this week. I sincerely, truly, deeply, whole-heartedly appreciate your support. I joke around a lot, but I’m serious when I say that even little things like your ‘likes’ on Facebook keep me motivated. I can’t even talk about the comments and texts. Or I will cry. Happy tears, […]

Ghosting

So, my esteemed writing colleague and I were having a rather hilarious conversation earlier about … death. Obviously. Everything you’ve heard about writers is true. We are awful. And we talk about death and we will drink all of your free coffee.* *This blogger takes no responsibility for what could be an outright lie. All […]

Ask Me How I’m Feeling: Grey Gardens

The Little Version I discovered the phenomenon that is Grey Gardens today, over thirty years too late, and this is how I feel: If you don’t know about Grey Gardens, I have provided a nifty explanation of my findings down below in “The Big Version” of my discovery. In short, this is what I learned […]

Things You Should Hear More Often

Do you use whitening toothpaste? Your skin looks flawless. I thought you must run or lift weights or something. Your arms look skinny. I wish I could pull off those pants. [This can mean two things.] He will never get over you. How did you manage to straighten your hair when you have to wake […]