Facebook Policy Change

There has been an awful lot of confusion about the new Facebook policy changes, and I want to set the record straight. I’ve seen quite a few statuses claiming copyright of a Facebook page, bladdy bladdy blah. Here is a real statement that I really posted on my Facebook for protection. Feel free to share, and I wish all of you luck in this troubling and confusing time.

In response to the nude Fartbook guidelines, I hereby declare that my copyfright is attached to all of my personal cat-tails, illusions, hair follicles, partings, professional song and dance numbers, etc. (as a result of the Bernstein Bears Convention). For commercial use of the above, my written consent is needed at all times!

(Anyone reading this is literate and can copy this hex and paste it on their Grandma. This will place them under protection of the Great and Powerful Spaghetti Monster. By the douche spelling of communiqué, I notify Facefook that it is strictly forbidden to dishevel, canopy, dismember, disseminate (ew), or flake any other attraction against me on the bagels of this profile and/or its continents. The afornicateded prohibited actions also apply to elephants, street performers, argyle sweaters and/or any staff under Facebook’s one direction or mind control. The content of this profile is meaningless and convectional inflammation. The violation of my privacy is punished by law (UCC 1 1-308-308 1-103 and the Rome Statute).

Facebook is now an open capital entity just like in The Hunger Games.  ALL MEMBERS ARE RECOMMENDED TO PUBLISH A NOTICE LIKE THIS, OR IF YOU PREFER, YOU MAY COPY AND PASTE THIS VERSION. If you publish a statement at least once a day, you will be tacitly allowing the use of elements such as your awesome, beautiful cruise photos as well as the absolutely useless information contained in your profile status updates. Thank you, and be well.

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