Crime Blotter #3

CRIMES AGAINST POULTRY
At 10:04 PM
on Nov. 19, a student walking
home from the USC campus came in contact
with a live chicken resting on the hood of a
car. When questioned, the student insisted,
“He was not just in the Hood, he was also on
a hood. I was pretty shocked.” Experts verified:
this is comparable to chicken inception. DPS
insists that this is a unique case and residents
should not panic about increased chicken
immigration. “[The chicken] was either lost or
gloating that, odds are, he will not be eaten for
Thanksgiving,” said one DPS officer. Most
witnesses are still reeling from how cuddly
the chicken appeared. One student said, “He
could have easily been a pillow pet.”

Sorry that picture looks like a scene out of One Night in Paris. I took it with my dumb phone. It’s a miracle that there is an image at all.

Also, I heard someone use the word “dynamite” as an adjective today. I don’t think it’s quite crime blotter worthy, but I thought I’d prepare you in case it becomes a bigger story (I certainly hope not).

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