The Apocalypse

  Since 94% of the people I love and 200% of the people I strongly dislike live on the East Coast, I have been avidly checking the internet for details on Hurricane Sandy.  I was shocked, horrified, and absolutely impressed when I came across this REAL photo of the storm: I would like to take […]

Who I Am

Overshare Alert, but I have been going through so many changes lately. I don’t even mean my voice — I’m pretty sure that’s just about over. Any second now. My beautiful friend gave me some incredible advice when I was upset about heart-hurting earlier this week. She said, “Don’t hung up on what you are not. […]

Sporknotes: Titanic

Last night I was pleasantly intoxicated and wanted to watch something that would make it acceptable for me to cry myself to sleep. I racked through the movies that get the tears welling no matter what: Love Actually, The Lion King, Space Jam … But then it hit me like a big ol’ giant iceberg. […]

How To Dye Your Hair

when you are emotionally unstable (based on a true story) So let’s say someone has broken your heart. Or you didn’t get the job you wanted. Or you keep reading about how this is the last season of 30 Rock. You hurt, right? You need to let your feelings out but you don’t want to […]

A Small Debate

When I graduated college last year, I was very conscious of my classmates’ fears about the future and the job market and about wanting to become famous but not knowing where to begin. The Catholic University of America, my little nugget of an alma mater, is one of those schools where you feel like you […]

Ask Me How I’m Feeling … And I Will Cry On You

Three things you should know about me before I start this story: 1. I always cry when I get dropped off at the airport. Ask the Super Shuttle driver who last drove me to Dulles. Sorry about that, Nate. 2. If I start crying, I usually have to cry myself out before I can stop. Sometimes […]

Sporknotes: Letter of Intent

So, you’ve decided to apply for grad school. Let me be the first to say — I am so sorry. I had such a hard time writing my letter of intent for grad school. Ask my friends, ask my boss — there were constant waterworks. Because writing about yourself is really hard. Especially when it […]

Things You Should Get Credit For More Often

Being on time. Being five minutes early. Being five minutes early with cookies for everyone! Eating three meals a day. Eating three meals a day that have nutritional value. Wearing sunscreen. Walking in heels. Running. Sweating but not smelling. Calling your loved ones. Writing letters. Writing emails. AWESOME GRAMMAR. STELLAR SPELLING. Avoiding the overuse of […]

How To: Self Portrait

Here’s the scene: It’s dark, mostly because it’s nighttime. Also because I live in a basement. Sirens howl from a few streets over and I can hear our dog pacing back and forth in the yard above. I’ve been sitting for what feels like the whole day. My chair is squeaky, my desk is a […]

Crime Blotter #2

CRIMES AGAINST A PERSON At 10:12 A.M. on Oct. 10, a student worker was told to sharpen pencils at her on campus job. Over 400 pencils were found on the scene. After 2 hours at the electric sharpener, her will to live is in critical condition, but an expert in the field assured DPS that after […]